Late night penetration never went any further than the phone, then the visits became frequent, not far in between yet I allowed you to go no further than the car, cuz we grew deeper by the moment, you got me wanting more and more, enjoyment was inhaled and skepticism was exhaled, I became naked and vulnerable to you, I exposed things without removing a single item of clothing. You held me… You covered me… You protected me… Until the morning. She became prevalent, the tweets made me angry, the chatter irked my soul, then I realized I was the other woman, I was what I hated so much….. Self esteem is the esteem of me, yet u play a major factor because you grew so deep in me, you expanded threw me, u breathed …. Me! Yet thru it all, even tho I wanted to remove the garments there was no need, you penetrated me deep, I inhaled enjoyment & exhaled skepticism until you tweeted and tweeted and tweeted……now as I press decline, I’d really rather except, but I can’t allow u to grow in me wen you’re manifesting in her.
~Layne Davids
What we hate in others is often the thing we hate in ourselves. I wrote this un-poem while interacting with Val. I’ve known Val since I was 12. He was my little brother’s friend. For years I thought of him as “lil boy” and never took him quite seriously. It truly had nothing to do with the quality of conversation, his physical appearance, or the extent of his girth. Maybe because he was younger than me, maybe because he was a good guy who didn’t pursue me like the rest, or could it be, for the first time, he was unavailable. Attracting men who were “unavailable” wasn’t new for me. Whether emotionally unavailable, financially unavailable, demographically unavailable, or legally unavailable, the case remained the same for me. It wasn’t until I dove deep within to develop this new and authentic Layne that I was also emotionally unavailable. I dove into relationships while retracting from any true emotions because the truth of the matter was that I never learned to emote. I never knew how to identify an emotion and confront it. It was a sign of weakness to me. How stupid of me to think? I would retract from anything that would seem vulnerable. I never reached true intimacy because in true intimacy, truth, deep exchange, and communication are revealed. The mental capacity weakens to open yourself up to be receptive. While I was going through the motions, it isn’t until internal movement is identified and acknowledged then emotions can be exposed and be discovered through intimacy.
In steps to becoming “the other woman”, it isn’t always one’s plot but getting satisfied by any means is always the plan. What makes matters worst is when you know the woman who supposedly the man belongs. Either way the knowledge of the main woman makes a man off limits, yet we view the chase as a competition or a game. There are never any rules other than “may the best man win.” Who REALLY wins? The girlfriend who has been deceived, manipulated and emotionally wounded. The side chick who has a confused mentality, misconstrued way of evil thinking and left disappointed. Or the man who isn’t emotionally strong enough, to BE enough, and invest in a loyal relationship and reap the benefits that come with monogamy. At any rate, I can honestly give an opinion because I have been on all sides of the triangular spectrum. Ladies, for future reference, just because your 1st, doesn’t mean you’re the 1.
Life with Layne 